This 1963 madcap comedy has inspired countless others, and is so jam-packed with top-name comedy actors it’s hard to know where to begin.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (rated G) is a true classic, and you owe it to your kids (and yourself) to see it. It’s a piece of American comedic and film history, truly! Set aside a chunk of time, like a pizza/popcorn night or a long, rainy Sunday, and plan a break or two as it’s looong (153 minutes) and will probably feel that way to the kids. The slapstick nature of the movie is plenty old-school (come on, it stars Jonathan Winters, Mickey Rooney, Phil Silvers, Milton Berle, Spencer Tracy, Terry Thomas, Buddy Hackett and Sid Caesar for goodness’ sake), but the snappy dialogue and amazing driving and car stunts should hold the kids’ attention.
The basic storyline is that before driving a car off a cliff, Jimmy Durante tells some folks where he’s stashed a large sum of loot. When they see him meet his demise, the race is on. Oh, yeah, we could go on about lessons learned in the movie about greed .... and integrity, and ... um ... safe driving, but that would just spoil the fun.
The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T (1953) is the only feature film written by the famed children’s author Dr. Seuss (aka Theodor Seuss Geisel). It was rather a bomb at the box office, so I guess that’s why Geisel didn’t pursue a film career. (According to Wikipedia, Geisel regarded the finished film as a "debaculous fiasco.") It’s too bad, because the writing (both songs and dialog) is pretty brilliant, which should be no surprise considering the lyrical nature of Dr. Seuss books.
Besides the music, there are so many weird things to love about The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. As you may have gathered, it is a musical (the score was nominated for an Oscar), which unfolds in a live action, surrealist setting, with animated visuals integrated fairly seamlessly. It’s produced by the great filmmaker Stanley Kramer (Judgment at Nuremberg , On the Beach, The Defiant Ones, to name a few), which is just weird. There is plenty of vibrant, eye-candy whimsy, such as roller-skating, twin men who share a long, gray beard, and a fantastic scene where our hero Bart climbs a very, very high Seuss-ian ladder to nowhere (I kept thinking, “Oh! The places we will go!”). The color is magnificent (blazing Technicolor!), and the sets ... well, suffice to say, The 5,000 Fingers... visuals are not far from what a minimalist Wizard of Oz might look like. They’re stunning.
“If kids had their way, there’d hardly be any parents born at all!”
Like the Wizard of Oz, this is all merely a dream, but it’s made quite clear from the beginning (I’m not spoiling anything here). Little Bart is an unwilling piano student who lives in fear of the didactic and dictatorial piano teacher Dr. Terwilliker (played deliciously by Hans Conried), and most of the film depicts Bart’s nightmare, caught in a web of Terwilliker evil.
I can see why hipsters might put The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T on their favorite film lists. It’s a slightly more uneven, underdog version of Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory or Oz, and it is a bit more ... twisted than those films.
Here’s the warning for parents of young kids:
Of course, the idea of being pursued and imprisoned by an evil anything/anyone might bother young ‘uns, and that’s a theme throughout. Once Bart and his accomplice, the father figure/plumber August Zabladowski, are caught by Terwilliker in his compound, they are taken onto an elevator, where a shirtless, black-masked henchman/operator calls out the floors (in song):
“First floor dungeon! Asssorted simple tortures ... molten lead, chopping blocks and hot ... boil-ing .... oooil!
“Second floor dungeon! Jewlery department .... leg chains, ankle chains, neck chains, thumb screws, nooses of the very .... fiiine - est ... rope!
There they are shown how non-piano playing musicians are treated: a drummer is imprisoned inside a huge drum, which Dr. Terwilliker explains is pounded all day and all night, forever. The prisoner's silhouette begs to be released as the visitors come to the cell, and the drummer ceases his torturous task for a moment.
But of course, it’s all played out as a dream, and it ends on a happy note. The references to torture and dungeons are the only caveats in what is now a really offbeat family movie (and maybe I’m going overboard here ... how quickly we forget what a seven- or nine-year old mind might be like when our kid is suddenly a sassy tweener!). I think mom and dad will dig it, and so will most kids. It’s a real treat for the eyes, and the ears. I’m tempted to go out and find the soundtrack now.
And I hate musicals.
(Another note from Wikipedia: "The Simpsons" villain Sideshow Bob takes his last name "Terwilliger" from this film.)
Ok, here are a couple of trailers. The first is one of the memorable musical scenes; I noticed son K singing along by song's end -- you can't help yourself. Evil Dr. T is preparing for his big, 500-boy (5,000 fingers) piano symphony debut.
The second is the dungeon elevator scene, so you can see for yourself if it might be ok for your own kids. But don't let that scene alone deter you! Maybe you could fast forward through it ...
I haven’t yet done a Kids’ Classic of the Week that was a thumbs down. Until now.
Listen, Where the Red Fern Grows (1974) might have been a fine novel, and perhaps a fine movie back in 1974, but I just can’t recommend it in 2009.
The story of a boy and his “coon hounds” takes place in 1930’s Ozark Mountains in Oklahoma. I will say this: I know it’s unfair to say it feels like an extended Waltons special, but it does (I’d rather watch The Waltons, a wonderful TV series, again), and I couldn’t shake it. (It doesn’t help that Beverly Garland, the mom, kept reminding me of Michael Learned’s Mother Walton).
Beyond squirming (me, not son K, who walked in and out of the movie three times) through scenes such as chopping down huge, beautiful trees just to catch a raccoon (really? is that what they did?), or a mountain lion vs. dog fight (that was real, staged for the cameras), the movie felt flat, slow (sloooow) and incredibly dated. Some of these things just don’t hold up well. You can’t argue.
Long stretches of the kid running through beautiful Ozark mountains and meadows, with Andy Williams crooning in the background (yes, Andy Williams; I know some of you don’t even know who he is. I’ll wait while you run over to Wikipedia), and lingering close-ups of a perennially troubled mom take up about half the film, with “coon hunts” and unpleasant, bullying kids taking up another half. There you have it, pretty much.
I won’t talk about the boom mic being seen in shots, or the surprise violence (a kid gets killed, the aforementioned animal brawl, mean boys, sad as heck ending), or the plentiful God talk (pretty much every bit of drama is explained away by God’s intent). I’ll just say, you could do better in the classic kids’ movie department.
I think a lot of these old “family” films really just don’t hold up. Take a look at this trailer for The Yearling (1946), which I had on my list to check out. I think I’ll leave it to you to research this one. Let me know what you think.
If you’re really in the mood for an old classic this weekend, try National Velvet (1944, Liz Taylor, Mickey Rooney). I know the ending is pretty sad, so if you want to wait for me to review it, and tell you just how tragic it might be, I’ll do it soon. It’s on my “instant view” Netflix list; it's a film I've always wanted to see.
There are several film adaptations of Frances Hodgson Burnett's beloved children's book, "The Secret Garden," but I can only tell you about two of them. One is a 1975 BBC version, which feels exactly like a 1975 BBC version. Adults might rather like it and appreciate it for its historic, vaguely Masterpiece Theater-feel, but for kids it’s too slow and too musty.
The other version I’m familiar with is the 1993 version, directed by polish director Agnieszka Holland, who has a string of films you’ve never heard of, plus television credits for shows like The Wire and Cold Case. I was surprised not to see another film or two of significance in his bio, as his Secret Garden is absolutely lovely, and the attention given to things like continuity and visual details are admirable.
This film has a G rating, but I doubt it would work on kids under age eight. It’s a pretty sedate, quiet film, the British accents may be a tad difficult for young (American) kids, and there is a dark, brooding melancholy throughout the first half. Younger children would likely have a difficult time with scenes of neglectful parents, dying parents, and “invalid” children throwing temper tantrums (cousin Colin throws a doozy here).
For the older kids, The Secret Garden is a great example of dramatic cinematic storytelling aimed at children that isn’t candy-coated in Disney sugar, and the film’s messages of hope, rebirth, and friendship are heartwarming and very sweet. It’s also mature enough (and lush enough visually) that most parents will enjoy it as well.
“Mandy Patinkin and Andre the Giant star in this oddball fairy tale ...”
Ok, you have to admit, there’s just something weird about that sentence. I started to open with it then stopped short, thinking, gee, that kind of says it all. Doesn’t it?
Okay, I’ll answer: yes. It’s an oddball pairing, in an oddball fairy tale, one that has certainly earned its “classic” status.
Rob Reiner’s offbeat 1987 comedy (the ‘80s were his best years: Spinal Tap, Stand by Me, When Harry Met Sally are all classics!) is a humorous, (mostly) family friendly fable, and the cast is stellar: it includes Billy Crystal, Robin Wright Penn, Christopher Guest, Peter Falk and Wallace Shawn. In another director’s hands, The Princess Bride could easily have become too soft, too sweet, too predictable. But in Reiner’s capable paws, we get clever kids’ fare (bad guys, sword fights, pirates, a pretty princess and a brave prince, fairy tale critters), carefully spiced with Reiner’s own brand of adult, caustic humor.
A great combo, no?
Come on, plenty of you out there who don’t even have kids have seen it. Some claim it’s a great date movie, too.
So if you need a little grown-up cinema fix, but it’s family night, this is a classic you can count on for all age groups.
(Er, almost all age groups; caveat about the PG rating: there are scenes like the prince threatening to cut off a man’s feet, hands, eyes, etc., with his fancy swordplay; it’s a rather graphic bit of scriptwriting. There is also a scene or two involving a “torture machine,” a semi-bloody attack by a giant rodent, sword stabbings, and a comment on the princess’s “perfect breasts.” So keep that in mind for your own kids. It might be best for ages nine or ten and up.)
Ok, when was the last time you thought about the original "Lassie" television series? You haven't, right?
I'm not always digging up semi-obscure or offbeat movies for kids, sometimes I'm just digging up the true classics, and "Lassie" is one of them. Netflix has a special anniversary collection featuring 24 episodes of the 1954 television series, and I'm not going to say I've seen all of them recently (ok, any of them), nor that I remember it, for God's sake (of course I don't! How old do you think I am?), but I will say this: If, when son K was five or six years old and I was OD'ing on Barney or Disney and had thought of "Lassie," I would have run off to the video store in a flash.
You can't get more wholesome than Lassie. "Little House on the Prairie" and "The Waltons" are right up there at the top of the classic, family fare television show list, but those series sometimes dealt with some fairly serious themes and might skew to a slightly older group of kids (say, nine and up). "Lassie," on the other hand, works for younger kids, and employs straightforward tales of integrity, courage and honesty to cook up a little bit of drama.
Give it a try. You might get all verklempt for the old days when things seemed a heck of a lot simpler. Those knotted muscles in your neck and shoulders might actually melt away. You might actually enjoy it.
(There are two "Lassie" movies from 2005 and 1994, but both have clear PG ratings. There are also "Lassie" films from 1944 and 1945 [one with Elizabeth Taylor!], that have G ratings.)
Time Bandits, from 1981 (and rated PG), is a darkly imaginative fantasy directed and written by Terry Gilliam of Monty Python (and director of such movies as Baron Munchausen -- which I’ll write about another time -- Brazil, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 12 Monkeys, The Fisher King, and more). He’s an incredible talent, and rumors have persisted for years of a sequel to Time Bandits; I’d be one of the first in line!
It’s difficult to know whether this film was conceived as a true kids’ movie, or a film that would appeal to teens and young adult fans of Monty Python. There is so much about it that seems directly aimed at a child’s imagination (which is, in fact, what the film is about: the battle between unfettered, free imagination and the constraints of society/religion/technology -- yeah, the philosophy is a bit of a blur), but as noted in my opening sentence, it is rather dark. It may also not sit well with deeply religious viewers who may not favor the idea of questioning our origins or the existence of a true “Supreme Being.” Uh, it may also not sit well with parents who may be taken aback at the end, when our child hero’s parents are apparently zapped and disappear for good (this is an inconsequential component to the story, really, not much of a spoiler; and the parents weren’t very nice, although, honestly, I didn’t think they were that bad; maybe I missed something).
Regardless, its redeeming features far outweigh its questionable ones. It is brilliantly detailed and rendered, from sets to costumes and special effects. It’s mind bogglingly creative, and tons of fun, and also has moments of the absurdist Python humor that is so much fun. (Warning: if you are thinking your 11 or 12-year old might be ready for MP & the Holy Grail or Life of Bryan, know that the latter is rated R and the former is only PG, but has some parental warnings you may want to know about -- check IMDB.)
Supreme Being:I should do something very extroverted and vengeful to you. Honestly, I'm too tired. So, I think I'll transfer you to the undergrowth department, brackens, more shrubs, that sort of thing... with a 19% cut in salary, backdated to the beginning of time. Randall:Oh, thank you, sir. Supreme Being: Yes, well, I am the nice one.
Robin Hood, Napoleon, the Titanic, and King Agamemnon of Ancient Greece make appearances, and in one most amazing scene, the gang fall from a time hole onto a ship where a horrible, hungry ogre and his beautiful wife makes plans for an unfortunate feast; the rest of this scene is a sublime testament to Gilliam’s artistic vision and talent, especially considering the clunky special effects tools that were available back in the dark ages of 1981.
Robin Hood: [Departing cheerfully, saying goodbye to the Time Bandits--] Thank you very much! Thank you very much! Thank you very, very, very much. [Under his breath] Robin Hood:Awful people.
In this week's classic kids' movie focus, we go with the excellent Tarzan series. These were quite often on television when I was a kid, on Saturday or Sunday mornings, but I can't remember the last time I caught one on TV. What happened to programming great old movies for kids on weekend mornings? My parents would snooze away while my sisters and I watched Tarzan, or Abbott and Costello, or Ma and Pa Kettle (ok, there's some ancient history for you).
There were six MGM Tarzan films made between 1932 and 1942, starring Olympic swimmer Johnny Weissmuller as Tarzan and Maureen O'Sullivan as Jane. Having seen a handful of them over the years, I’ll stick to these, although there were more titles to follow (mostly for RKO, and without Maureen O’Sullivan). 1943’s Tarzan Triumphs was the largest grossing of the post-MGM films. No wonder, as Tarzan was fighting Nazis and of course, World War II was in full bloom ... movie fans were desperate for heroes.
What follows is a list of the MGM films, and any one of them should make fine Sunday afternoon viewing (we’re still in bitter cold winter mode here; maybe in your world being inside on Sunday is just wrong).
Remember that there is some violence in these films (a stabbing here and there in particular), menacing bad guys and man-eating crocodiles. And then there’s this trivia tidbit about Tarzan and His Mate, courtesy of Wikipedia:
The infamous scene with Jane skinny dipping (her clothes were snagged on a tree branch and pulled off, as Tarzan threw her playfully into the water) was initially cut by the Production Code Administration when the film was first released but was restored in 1986 by Turner Entertainment for its video release. Maureen O'Sullivan did not play the naked Jane in the scene. Instead she was doubled by Olympic swimmer Josephine McKim, who competed in the 1928 games with Johnny Weissmuller.
(The scene is fairly long and memorable. Also of note, in 2003, the United States Library of Congress deemed the film "culturally, historically or aesthetically significant" and selected it for preservation in the National Film Registry.)
There are so many classic movies for kids out there (that is, films intended for kids, unlike, say Planet of the Apes or Jackie Chan movies) which I may never get to, that I’ve decided to feature one every week, with a very brief blurb on it, just to remind you they’re out there.
This week, we point you to the Iron Giant, which is not that old, but I have very fond recollections of K at about age 6 watching this at a birthday party with some dear friends back in SF; the kids just loved it. (Hmm. Come to think of it, they were probably a little on the young side for it, really, but I remember they were glued to the screen and obviously enjoyed it. K asked to see it again a few years ago.)
It’s animated, and is rated PG as it does deal with some suspense and peril, and it also has some juvenile potty humor and language (er, certainly nothing worse than “penis breath” muttered by a kid in E.T. -- ah, you’d conveniently forgotten that, hadn’t you?). Like the aforementioned E.T., it deals with a creature taken in and loved and protected by our child protagonist, but there are deeper subtexts that are quite moving and poignant. In fact, it’s a little on the heavy side.
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